Your father is the real Igor and has been trying to kill you this whole time (rude). Igor and his band of ragtag Zonies, whom you assemble (or disassemble) during the game’s ~20-hour playtime, spend the next week or so of their lives waging guerilla war on the NAR before infiltrating the power plant, locating your mom, Tatyana, and… what? Why are you looking at me like-oh! Did I fail to mention that your sexy Slavic bride-to-be was actually your mother all along? Yeah, and you’re actually a clone-like abomination who formed a parasitic memory bond with your father and have been feeding off his past life as if it were your own for the last 30+ years, hence your now Oedipus-esque obsession with ol’ Tatyana. But don’t worry! The not-so-benevolent “NAR,” a multi-conglomerate entity that’s purchased up much of the Zone in the hopes of harnessing chernobylite’s seemingly boundless energy properties, are here to make everything even worse. For starters, the Chernobyl Disaster of 1986 spawned a sinister byproduct called-you guessed it-chernobylite, which happens to be tearing apart the very fabric of time and space, releasing a hellish slew of pseudo-zombie creatures into the Zone. Or did she? For, as the plot progresses and Igor pieces together increasingly more of the twisted Chernobyl puzzle, it gradually becomes clear that nothing is as it seems in northern Ukraine. More specifically, the game involves you-Igor Khymynuk, a former Chernobyl employee and hopeless romantic-returning to the Exclusion Zone to unravel the mystery of your missing fiancé, Tatyana, who disappeared from the area decades ago.
#CHERNOBYLITE CRYSTAL CRACK#
But! If you can find it in yourself to crack open just one more totally not irradiated Chernoby lite beer (that was the last pun, I promise), I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised. When you consider it and the six-plus Chernobyl titles released over the last few years ( Warface Special Operation Pripyat, Fear the Wolves, Stay Out, Chernobyl Road of Death, Liquidators, Frequency: Chernobyl )-not to mention a little thing called S.T.A.L.K.E.R 2 on the horizon-I wouldn’t blame you for feeling a little too Cherno bloated for Chernobylite. Now, Chernobyl, in general, is having a bit of a moment right now, thanks in no small part to HBO and Sky UK’s critically-acclaimed Chernobyl miniseries, which won all of the awards (83, to be precise: ). If you’d rather experience this review in a spoiler-free video format, please click here: įrom little-known Polish studio, The Farm 51, comes Chernoblyat Chernobylite, “a thrilling sci-fi RPG adventure of survival, conspiracy, horror, love, and obsession” (not necessarily in that order). SPOILERS – SPOILERS – SPOILERS – SPOILERS – SPOILERS – SPOILERS – SPOILERS – SPOILERS With all that boilerplate accounted for, let’s put Chernobylite under the MEGA the microscope! Sound (responsive, immersive, innovative).Art (captivating, imaginative, thematic).Value (“is it time and money well spent?”).Puzzles (inventive, stimulating, satisfying).“Bosses” (challenging, thrilling, meaningful).Objectives (varied, important, engaging).“Playability” (controls, performance, A.I.).User Interface (immersive, helpful, innovative).Non-Combat (varied, polished, inventive).Combat (responsive, exciting, satisfying).
Characters (compelling, memorable, unique).Plot (engaging, comprehensible, original).I then aggregate these micro-scores into a MEGA score at the review’s end, hence my profile’s moniker, MEGA the micro!īefore we begin, here's a scoring system overview (with what I look for in parentheses), in case you’d like to skip to the micrometrics that matter most to you: Each metric is composed of “micrometrics,” to which I assign a numerical value:ġ ( terrible) – 2 ( disappointing) – 3 ( neutral) – 4 ( impressive) – 5 ( incredible)Įvery micrometric starts at a neutral “3” and must significantly impress or disappoint to receive a different score. My scoring system reduces games to four metrics: STORY, GAMEPLAY, CONTENT, and STYLE.
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